Know your face

Why do people who just met try to expand their relationship through facebook? It has killed more relationships than playboy (even though we only read it for the articles). It used to be, you dated a person and knew just what they told you, now you can stalk them, see every picture they've been in, read about their crazy friends and former tool boyfriends, and who wants to get to know a person that dressed up as a the village people for Halloween?Point of the story, as the empire expands and is now worth some crazy amount of zeroes, think about how it all got started. If you must, reference the movie (it's got JT in it, so it must be accurate). Evn as the are innocent and never proven, they are the Maury show of legit. So much swindling and back stabbing has gone on that it makes DC look like clean, family fun. Is this what you want around your personal relationships?On this website, you matter as much as you think you do, but hey, there's an app for that and you can be a farmer.

You may think that your new pal is amazing because he has 1100 friends, but come on. Stalkers dont even have 1100 friends (except on fb), and when it comes down to it, the new pal is really just lying to you and only knows 11 of these people, acquaintances are not “friends.” But hey, it's just a website. Think about it this way, what you are really saying here is, “I've met this person for all of 3 minutes, why not give them and the adspace the secret recipe that is me?

The true character of people really shines when you log on. “Ooh, this chic is hot, lets say hi so I can peep her photos. I'm easily addicted and I need more lies so I can be a better vampire hunter. Created a group because i'm feeling insecure about myself and I want to see how many people think I'm clever and/or cool by getting them to join the 'I lost my phone group, post your number online so that a complete stranger can steal your identity all the while, I don't call you (sill fool, I would never).”

This website is the ultimate anti dont judge a book by it's cover. All you are doing here is taking a person, looking at that photo of them at a college party and deciding whether or not you want to see the new Titanic or not. Sometimes, you may get past that photo of their gerbil and read some of their posts (i.e. A collection of irony and inside joke in which you will undoubtedly take literally because you are not really their friend and know nothing about the person. This is the modern day version of social awkwardness and standing next to a person just listening in on their conversation that doesn’t involve you.

Here's the kicker though, there are billions of bored people out there that don't care. This is a utility to put on the new ipad so you can pass the time. Social degradation, NSFW pictures, inaccurate assessments, and attention whoring cannot over power the emotion of need.

So as I sit on my bed, thinking about what kind of breakfast I want to eat so I can post it to my wall, I can help but recognize the irony here and the undying hypocrisy that I am emitting. I hope you didnt expect any better because you read my profile. Most of you are reading this because I posted it and I am so important that you need to read my opinions, but not to worry, i'll read about yours as procrastination kicks in. I might even like it to share my opinion.

Back to the original point, by taking the next step in your relationship and becoming a friend, you better be expecting to see some stuff that you really didnt want to, after all nobody is exactly as they advertise. At least its not myspace where you get bombarded with stripper mail. The myspace stalker is on to catch a predator while the facebook stalker is just a borderline perve.

At least your not tweeting, or are you?