Pretty in Red, White, and Blue

Im not scared to show any ignorance here because it is coming from ignoring. As in I am ignoring all politics until further notice, enough is enough guys. Ok, im no longer ignoring it so that I can continue to learn how to not act, but I AM still and forever more not in support of the cluster expletive deleted (it can be defined as the consensual fornication between adults, mostly hard like).

It starts every four years with the Bravo reality tv show that is the road to the election, only there are usually no chics and as far as I can tell booze is omitted. The pre election consists of however many social degenerates who are really proud of themselves and seem to want their skeletons in the closet to be exposed. They cover them up like a teen on the beach. After months of the joke that is not directly affecting anything except weeding out trash from trash, one emerges to claim their “parties” nomination. Aren't parties supposed to be fun? So now the best of the worst has been selected to run against some other group of schmucks, none of which have a unique thought.

It has begun seemingly earlier this year and they are way worse than usual. Candidates try to win by slandering their opponents and basically saying, “I never inhaled.” They run attack ads with the message dont vote for me, just dont vote for them, yet everybody vote. What kind of BS is that?

This year, the arm pitt is bashing anything that hope-ama can say based on the fact that he didnt fix the economy. “I did not believe in global warming but the president ruined the economy and now I know, It's His FAULT! Vote for me, please.” Whether he did or didnt do anything at all, at least we aren't Europeans and thank everything that you can still drive your GMC to BOA to change your IRA. As shaky as the Euro is, at least they have a little class about themselves. Nobody is hollering at the queen, bashing her for shaking the hand of her assassin.

Every year as we get closer to finding out who is going to better corporate America for the next 4, a certain amount of political lies via attack ad is expected and of course there will be a ton of senators whose mistresses will come forth and write a novel (no wonder nobody reads anymore). But this year, there have been no ads claiming why we should vote for someone, just why you shouldn't. At least an attempt to say what your political stance is on a few key topics before you go into completely molly whopping a persons dignity, even if that person is not really a person.

Im starting to see why they implemented the electoral college, so when nobody shows up to pick a loser, somebody will still appoint one.

Point Man

It wasnt too long ago when the nuclear family reigned Suburbia. Now, global warming, oil famine, unemployment, etc has caused that nuclear family to mutate and go from a small group to the outrageous family unit. That's neither here nor there, what is here is the fact that we laugh about what was there.

In 90s suburbia, the dad would come home, change into his relaxing polo and high shorts and mow the yard with an electronic lawnmower. The nice thing about them is that they wouldn't run out of power unless you didnt pay the bill, the bad part being that extension chords suck. Nothing quite beats trying to get that patch of grass in the corner of your yard only to come up just short. Remember the old cartoons where the plug would come out of the wall just before you could finish the task, they were historically accurate. It wasnt just an electric mower, but of course the whole package, tree trimmer, weed eater, edger, you name it, they had it, even the boom box!

A little later, the brilliant minds that be created the man points system for wives to keep their men in check. Mow the yard, get some points, fix a broken object, have some more; redeem for prizes. Much like currency, the man point evolved into something completely different. It became a trap for man friends to poke fun at their pals (ie the guy on the couch to rip on the guy with the job). You left the game, minus points, are you drinking wine, point loss, tell me that's not a novel, your points are getting low. Thats where we are today, except we have combined the earning of points with the losing of them, much like a banking institute (btw interesting that banks and psycho wards are both commonly referred to as institutes).

The man will now come home from earning man points at the bar to make dinner and lose said points when the buddies get wind of it. It's evolved from a chuck e cheese rewards system to having no value like our currency. Just as with chivalry, women killed the man point for themselves. Now the ones in charge with a mans self image is his drunken, football buddies...BELCH! Used to be you got man points for being a responsible man but now you get them for being deadbeat, thanks celebrity rehab.