Just say No

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was an evil. The forces of good tried round the clock to put this darkness away, but in it is apparent that their efforts were unsuccessful and some may argue that they pushed others to the dark side. The force is not at play here, and you dont need to be a jedi to grasp it.

What every happened to the keep kids of drugs programs, especially in school? I was a part of DARE and I turned out ok, having only a partial spoon habit (joking). It seems that the program is no more, the anti drug policy has become crossword puzzles on the back of the school lunch milk cartons, along with every other “be a better person” campaign. It seems that the schools just said “F it” and cut drug education along with everything else (excepts football of course), so now it's up to the parents to keep from taking bong hits with your children (reefer is a gateway drug).

The big oops may have been their timing; they started young and then gave up in middle and especially high school. I got my info in 5^th grade (as you know they next high is a top priority to a 5^th grader) and it was over. Even the level headed brain child that I am now, major life decisions are not meant for a 10 year old. So in middle school, when the monster started showing its ugly head, there was no “no” reinforcement techniques. The system failed and lead to the high drop out rates.

Now that I think about it, they did the same thing with sex ed and hygeine training. I learned that BO juice was a good thing in 5^th grade and thats the last I heard. In 6^th grade they would mention that showering and laundry were good, but nothing major. Once again, I got that knowledge from my chocolate milk and nothing says be a better person like non fat chocolate milk Friday!

At least they were trying in the 90's, now a days you cant even find a free poster or have campus security come talk to your class or nothing, a lot of schools dont even have a nurse any more. I guess the pro drug campaign just put up more money than the anti and had better free samples. Think about it, as a kid, pencils are ok, but then in middle school, the anti parent, pro individuality phase kicks in and the free samples of dirt grass from your high school neighbor pull more weight that a t shirt. Cool merchandise is crucial, I think one of the best things pro hygiene had going for it was the free deodorant sample, especially to the children who have no pit hair; biology is crazy (which is yet another reason why math is better).

Hate to say it, but the pro reading campaign sucks as well, post elementary. Think about it, books are sweet in the young days because of the authors who were not affected by the anti drug movement (Seuss). What kid doesnt want a mushroom trip about green eggs, in high school, they have to keep it going, but unfortunately vampires dont do LSD.

At the end of the day, the world needs better role models for high schoolers, pop stars are crappy, self absorbed people with a selfish agenda. Parents are great role models, but they dont get much respect by their kids until adulthood (which is how to judge success). We nees a Pootie Tang to mumble gibberish and make “cool” PSAs. OR, step it up celebrities, rather than sucker punch and surprise your opponent with an elbow to the face (world peace huh?) maybe show some class and sportsmanship with a high five. By all means, go to rehab, but dont relapse and flash the “great divide” to the paparazzi (those guys suck). Celebrities, you basically live life like a high school popularity contest, use your appeal for good, join the chess team or something. Give the teenagers something better to vote for via text than which bimbo to marry. Look at the old milk ads, those worked well, do that with crack, except the other way around. I'll even use my celebrity to kick it off (“Got crack” you shouldn't, only plumbers and cable guys do).

Do whatever, just do it fast, reincarnate McGruff, not McGrif (bonus if you know it). At the end of the day, no junkie in a dog suit is going to affect your life, the decision is in your hands, you have to put your education to work, so it falls on the system to instill moral and logic to help the youth.

Cliche Away

It has been stated to not judge a book by it's cover and that is sound advice, but why not? First off, who said this because nobody reads anymore and the ones that do are used to being judged by a jury of their peers although they were not innocent until proven guilty, they weren't. The only reason that cliche exists is because people are so sensitive about stereotypes and although they are not a scientific fact, they are usually pretty accurate, the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. You would be right more than wrong by judging because people make up lies about who they really are to project who they would like to be, not who they are and you need to go with your gut because actions speak louder than words. If you dont like you, there is no to time like the present to change it and put on a smile. I hate to rain on your parade, but time heals all wounds so build a bridge and get over it. If you are a fake inside, it's ok because if you break your arm, with a little support it will go back to normal in a few months; father time will heal you, granted a steady regiment of vicatin will take the edge off, it'll still heal.

I hope im not letting the cat out of the bag by telling you that people just put words together in a random jumble of nonsense. Try to turn a new leaf and use creativity as the ace in the hole, conversations start to feel like ants in the pants.

As crazy as cliches are, it kind of chaps my hide that they have not one, not two, but more websites than you can count on one hand devoted to the good, the bad, and the ugly. Alls fair in love and war, but I think it's safe to assume that the interweb is in a pickle.

I better mak out like a bandit before you get thrown a curveball on what i'm actually saying, eh, E for effort.

I'm not holding my breath, but you can say that again! Glad I got that monkey off my back.

Know your face

Why do people who just met try to expand their relationship through facebook? It has killed more relationships than playboy (even though we only read it for the articles). It used to be, you dated a person and knew just what they told you, now you can stalk them, see every picture they've been in, read about their crazy friends and former tool boyfriends, and who wants to get to know a person that dressed up as a the village people for Halloween?Point of the story, as the empire expands and is now worth some crazy amount of zeroes, think about how it all got started. If you must, reference the movie (it's got JT in it, so it must be accurate). Evn as the are innocent and never proven, they are the Maury show of legit. So much swindling and back stabbing has gone on that it makes DC look like clean, family fun. Is this what you want around your personal relationships?On this website, you matter as much as you think you do, but hey, there's an app for that and you can be a farmer.

You may think that your new pal is amazing because he has 1100 friends, but come on. Stalkers dont even have 1100 friends (except on fb), and when it comes down to it, the new pal is really just lying to you and only knows 11 of these people, acquaintances are not “friends.” But hey, it's just a website. Think about it this way, what you are really saying here is, “I've met this person for all of 3 minutes, why not give them and the adspace the secret recipe that is me?

The true character of people really shines when you log on. “Ooh, this chic is hot, lets say hi so I can peep her photos. I'm easily addicted and I need more lies so I can be a better vampire hunter. Created a group because i'm feeling insecure about myself and I want to see how many people think I'm clever and/or cool by getting them to join the 'I lost my phone group, post your number online so that a complete stranger can steal your identity all the while, I don't call you (sill fool, I would never).”

This website is the ultimate anti dont judge a book by it's cover. All you are doing here is taking a person, looking at that photo of them at a college party and deciding whether or not you want to see the new Titanic or not. Sometimes, you may get past that photo of their gerbil and read some of their posts (i.e. A collection of irony and inside joke in which you will undoubtedly take literally because you are not really their friend and know nothing about the person. This is the modern day version of social awkwardness and standing next to a person just listening in on their conversation that doesn’t involve you.

Here's the kicker though, there are billions of bored people out there that don't care. This is a utility to put on the new ipad so you can pass the time. Social degradation, NSFW pictures, inaccurate assessments, and attention whoring cannot over power the emotion of need.

So as I sit on my bed, thinking about what kind of breakfast I want to eat so I can post it to my wall, I can help but recognize the irony here and the undying hypocrisy that I am emitting. I hope you didnt expect any better because you read my profile. Most of you are reading this because I posted it and I am so important that you need to read my opinions, but not to worry, i'll read about yours as procrastination kicks in. I might even like it to share my opinion.

Back to the original point, by taking the next step in your relationship and becoming a friend, you better be expecting to see some stuff that you really didnt want to, after all nobody is exactly as they advertise. At least its not myspace where you get bombarded with stripper mail. The myspace stalker is on to catch a predator while the facebook stalker is just a borderline perve.

At least your not tweeting, or are you?