Austin.O

I dont have a video to precede the following,but if you know Drake or dont, google his quote unquote music and lets the tears flow."Let's put 30 seconds on the clock and see how many funny comments we can post."

1) Hmm, there have been too many seasons of American Idol

2) I guess Lil Wayne did want to get back at us after all for putting him in jail.

3) He's easier to find in the club than Ecstacy

4) Well I guess not all Dogs go to Heaven

5) Could you imagine what his music video would look like if those girls didnt get paid?

6) This is indeed what your children listen to

7) Well, at least your not deaf

8) See, not all "rappers" are sexual deviants

9) At least the NBA All Star games will have an entertaining halftime show.

10)This is proof that technology is taking over the world and they will get us on at a time.

Buzzer

11)At least you know what your kids will be dancing to in the strip club in 10 years. Believe me, there is not much hope to curb the youth to listen to real music, but this makes the other stuff sound like Mozart (it gets worse, way worse).

Just one more

I've never been addicted to crack, but they say the reason it's so addictive is because the first high is so extreme that the junkie keeps trying to relive it. They will never get back to it, but they keep doing it anyways. That is also the definition of insanity, doing the same thing but expecting a different outcome. Similar to crack, there are Mexican restaurant chips . You start off saying ok, i'll have one and no matter how good or bad, you keep stuffing the face trying to get that satisfaction. Next thing you know, you have queso, guacamole, and the secret sauce that is really just a mix of the two.

Like all good crack, you go in it with an empty stomach, just starving, and then after a round ofmargaritas, you keep filling the basket. Finally, after the dust has settled, you are no longer hungry for the food you ordered and you take it to go. Then after a few hours, your hungry again and you go back for more.

Nobody wants to be a junkie, but like in the movies, it just calls your name, and then the refrigerator jumps at you. After a sprinkle of salt and after you've man handled every chip to find the one that is the perfect size for the amount of dip you desire, you chomp down. You wish that were the end, but after immediately judging it (dude, this is weak, the stuff last time was much better) you just wish one of the people at the table would tell you an interesting story so you could take your mind off of it. But after a few intense moments (who knows how long, time flies) the craving gets to be so intense that you have to go back for more. Oh no, they brought a different batch, I better try those.

Next thing you know, you go back again and again and again until your “friends” at the table cut you off (“that's enough, look at you”). You crave and crave and will do anything to get that next fix. It's not even that good, but you NEED it. You try everything from lying, to stealing, to going behind their back or to another table to get another. Then finally, the table looks at you and says, “I love you, but you have got to stop. If you cant, then we are going to leave.” After being forced to quit, the food comes and the intervention helps you realize that you are at rock bottom. You have nothing left (of your appetite). You suddenly feel alone in the seat while your happy table gobbles down. You try to keep in touch with them, but you grow apart, your disease has ruined your relationships. You sit there picking t your food knowing that you never want to do that ever again, especially since the withdrawals are so extreme.

As you pack up your food to go, you sneak a few in the box, “I'll just take this for later.”

It doesn't have to be like this, just say NO!

Moral of the story, we are all basically addicts, it's a disease

"I'm Funny and I know it"

The older I get, the more I try to figure it out. What is the meaning of life, what is the fastest route to work, who the hell is on the radio and why am I listening to it? It first struck me odd that Madonna was at the Superbowl which was about as super as CSPAN, I caught the “coolest” thing since ice trays. They leave me LOLing while ROFLing and CRYing.

I'm sexy and I know it? When I first caught wind of this I was floored. Well actually, I heard it at the gym, so I wasn't that surprised, but then I heard it another day, and then somewhere else, and finally I heard it at school. So as the curious, fact finding, life saving, person that I am, I researched this bummer to get to the bottom of things.

First off, the texting language is as cute as the rabies vaccine, so naming your “band” as such really gives you a solid footing and a great place to write lyrical gems. Then you see the amazing talent in the faces of these high school sweethearts, Im not sure if they are related or just the product of ttwo consenting adults that are from Arkansas, but those two consenting first cousins must have been Carrot Top and Coolio. So It starts off very electronic and technoic which is great because like the people who listen to techno, it's only good when you feel ecstasy and the lights are off.

The lyrics to this jam are the result of some very deep emotional consideration and the combined education of an eight year old. These guys remind me of every Clerks movie in that if they get writers block, it's back to the fast food kitchen. It starts off with a solid look at that body, like some robot stalker at the mall food court. After a few reps to make sure you understand, they drop the kicker, I'm sexy and I know it. First off JT, how does one go from stalking to claiming how sexy you are, that's the cross between a lion and espn 2 late night. I can assure you, they are as sexy as athletes foot, but they have the confidence of tough actin tinactin, booyah.

Once you get through the fact this just happened, you are rewarded with a sweet e solo in which computers rock with noises that only a mother(board) could love (NICE). Once again, drugs are bad and most noises your computer makes are terrifying. Lets put it another way, recently, I have enjoyed the athletic centers so I can achieve six pack abs and find my summer body. For those who are also hitting the gym, you know that it is more essential than water to bring those headphones because if not, you have to listen to the cranked up emusic.

After a few rounds of this miserable pattern, the song ends a peace is restored. You can get back to the lyrical freedom that you do deserve. It's not that this “group” is so bad, they're terrible. They have a common thread with such classics as TATU, The Medic Droid, crystal castle, and how could I forget Britney. Yes, the GI Jane of the music world. She started out great, but the thing about people is that they almost always eventually come to their senses, and now Kathy Griffin has more cred. Same with the Cell phone Crusaders, but hurry up people, can we end this relationship? High school is over and there's a reason it only happens once. The popularity contest, the drama, and the obnoxious display of “creativity” (aka unappealingness) is done. Here's to an effective and positive future generation that can actually accomplish something.  You know who else is in the same Titanic as these balloon artists, the is_it_a Lady Gaga.

So what is it that creates the airplay for this? It's not a lyrical masterpiece nor an amazing display of instrumentals, I guess it's a little catchy in that it gets stuck in your hear like a tumor. But the Alphabet song is catchy, and that's off the Billboard list. The hot list at the billboards is definitely catching fire and hopefully will burn down the system and remove the arsonists that are modern day pop 'musicians.' Pop is depressing but Techno is the Prius of the music genres

Breaking Bad

No use beating a dead horse, but somebody has to; It's that time of year again. The rotation of the Earth around the sun is perfect enough to harbor and justify every other country's thoughts of how floozy Americans are. The younger, very accomplished generation, needs to take a break from muttering obscenities and falling over on a piano accidentally putting chords together that would qualify as music, especially in a club. What better way to break than with Edward 40 hands, beer bongs, rufie coladas, a variation of ping pong involving luke warm beer, shot blocks, jello wrestling, and a stockpile of Herpicin as well as a friendly game of Aliens vs Predators for a whole week.

A rite of passage for college students, the drunken orgy is said to have officially began in the 60s when cars and chics became easily accessible. The point of the journey was the road trip, it was about getting in a barely holding on car and pulling trucker tendencies by driving 20+ plus straight hours with no sleep while “not” being affected my truck stop speed. The days at the beach were just a bonus, the camaraderie was the drive, if you made it with beer money, then you used the formerly white sands of the various US beaches as your pillow. If you got stuck in a ditch along a 2 line highway, then you camped out until somebody passed you. This was the documentary aspect of Animal House, it was a way of life, not just a movie.

Now days, it's still about the party, but there is a much greater need for caution and decision making. Spring Break 2012 is the equivalent of Bordertown, Mejico. In your inebriated stupor, you have to decide, should I walk alone into that dark alley or should I stay here with this sketchy dude that keeps offering to buy me drinks (ooh, this one is strong, oh my god, im like so wasted). It's more about how good is my credit score and/or my relationship with my parents. The better financed you are, the more popular.

Then something major came about, the station formerly known as music television decided to start filming it all and it was all downhill from there. The mostly unspoken or unknown activities where suddenly broadcast to the world for easy payments of 19.99. Daughters were and are shunned on a yearly basis and sons are praised. From here, it was the revolution of smaller recording devices and bigger bad decisions.

Don't get me wrong, the celebration is not the bad thing, the people arent even bad, and im not complaining about anything. It's different though, different strokes for different folks. We've all done the tradition that is a week long vacation at the end of winter, and many have experienced the feeling of jealousy and hatred by no longer being able or relevant to make it happen. I guess hypocrisy, envy, and reality are a real bummer.

What is the future of Spring break? Many will argue that the droves of testosterone is scaring away the estrogen and both are quietly disappearing as eduction slowly is massacred. Also, drug cartels have made it clear that they will kidnap whitey. Is the lure of bad decision making, designer drugs, underage consumption, selling of ones body to off, pay a bar tab, dine and dash, PI, as well as many other illegal activities wearing off. The pizazz of young, dumb, and full of … themselves cant just die off. Come on people, someone has to know how to resuscitate and it sure aint Snooki or Lil Wayne.

I'll have a small fry

Come on David, at least give a little effort. I'll be the first to tell you, I am a local shopper. It's no secret that corporate America means to me what adulthood meant to MJ. As much as people want to save and spend as little as possible, an extra buck to talk to the friendly high schooler is worth it than to have to deal with the jerk who dropped out. If they couldnt handle it in high school, how do they ever think they can take care of business in the real world. I hate to break it to you, but a GED is not the same as a high school diploma, so stay in school.

Back to it, I fully understand the difficulty trying to maintain a mom and pop when the ginomart opens up next door, but it's more than just having low prices and marketing. As a person with a job, I have at least a 5 day work week, meaning Monday through Friday is out, screw you, im not working. I appreciate that you are sometimes open on Saturdays, but that gives me 8 hours to drive all over town, running errands, not easy (im over it after 1 hour tops). I know how everyone feels like they have to to push their religion on me and Sunday is the Lord's day, Buddah's day, Joeseph's day, whoever; I get that it's there day, but they dont pay bills, in fact, they want 15% of your earnings. It's hard to support those needs if you are unemployed because your store had to shut down.

In other words, be open, put forth the effort. The reason corporate chains win is because of convenience, although aint nothing easy about parking in the back of the lot to

enter the store and fight for the last shopping cart, it's still easier than parking, walking to the door, just to see closed. I like you small guys, Goliath is way overrated, but you gotta throw me and the other 8 of us that strive to be anti-establishment a bone.

In the 21^st century, there is little need to call any one, talk to them, get informed, have a positive interaction with another human. What you do well is have a live person who is easily accessible and friendly, or it's very easy to access the information I need. However, more and more do I find myself using the phone book, calling a place to find the number is no longer in service, it just rings through, or I get a fax tone. Geez, Plaxico Burress, stop shooting yourself in the foot, get a working number and for some reason if you are closed during a reasonable business hour, find an answering machine that says, “Sorry that we are not open, we are too busy complaining about how we didn't get a bailout. Please leave a message so we can ignore it and continue failing as a company. Next time, we will go to college to find out how capitalism works.”

I know it's easy to make a whiny excuse and bring up the same over used facts:

• They have more employees
• They make more money
• They can advertise
• they have guarantees
• the have lawyers

the list goes on

Guess what, they are going to sell stuff regardless of how unfair and uneven the playing field is. So you gotta adapt or be inept, blah blah blah.

So, little guy, mom and pop, hole in the wall, etc, know that you are a cherished part of the community and the only people that want you replaced by a chain store are either from Arkansas or aren’t relevant to the community. You gotta suck it up, figure something out, work a little harder, even lie cheat and steal if you have to, or you can just admit that you arent cut out for a challenge and take a loss. You have one thing on your side, everybody loves an underdog, so rub it's belly and embrace it. Throughout history, the little guy has risen and upset someone: David beat Goliath, someone beat cancer, an old lady beat McDonalds. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.